One Man and His Blog

Well, I’m back. I’ve bought myself a nice new computer, although I’m hoping at some point I might still be able to get the old one working again. But being an impatient type, having spent over a month without a ‘puter, it was high time I got a new one, and fortunately I had just enough money to spare to do so.

So far it’s all going well. The new computer’s all shiny and excitng, althopught having said that, not having used Windows Vista before, I’m not particularly liking it so far, but maybe it’ll grow on me. Otherwise, though, just the fact of being back online is good enough. This week is going to be quite busy, but I’ve got a couple of days off, so hopefully I’ll have caught up with the world by the end of the week.

So, what did I miss?

So, I arrived at Richard’s to find the party in full swing but the man himself nowhere to be seen, apparently on the phone to someone. So I headed to the kitchen to deposit my beer and check out the selection of fine fancy dress outfits assembled (I went as "man who hasn’t had time to find a costume", an outfit consisting of jeans and a black shirt). Just as I was getting chatting to a schoolgirl, Mick Jagger walked in. Well, it was a good job he had an inflatable microphone and guitar with him, as the mask actually made him look more like Maradona. Mick started to make conversation, but we couldn’t understand a word he was saying, so he took his head off, and I recognised him immediately; it was Pat, another old friend from school who looks exactly the same as he did when we were 16, aside from having rather less hair.

After a while mingling with a ladybird, a posh pirate and Marilyn Monroe, the karaoke machine was produced and Pat found himself volunteered to start proceedings with a (possibly intentionally) hilarious massacre of MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This. Midway through proccedings, shortly after an ironically chosen rendition of I Believe I Can Fly courtesy of Superman, Richard finally appeared, in full Adam West-style Batman suit. He’s not looking well – between the cancer and the chemo he’s got very patchy clumps of hair and he’s looking very skinny apart from a bloated stomach as a result of his condition, which he said was causing him to walk like a pregnant woman and thus giving him a bad back – but he seems to be coping really well with it all, or at least putting a very brave face on it. Obviously there were lots of people there who wanted to talk to him, but we had a chance to catch up a little and share a few laughs.

Once the enthusiasm for the karaoke had died down, I found myself being talked into having my face painted by the ladybird, so that I would at least have had some element of fancy dress with which to fit in. It’s quite unnerving to have someone draw something on your face while you can’t see it – especially when a passer-by has just suggested to your face painter that it would be very funny to draw genitalia on the unsuspecting victim – but I was pleased with the end result, a rather sad looking clown who appeared to have hit on hard times (well, I hadn’t shaved, so I was clearly an out-of-work clown).

And then it was time for me to go. I found Richard again, said my goodbyes and told Richard that if he was up to it, we could try to arrange to meet up the next time I’m down this neck of the woods. I really really hope we can do it. And in the meantime, we’ll keep in touch and I’ll keep praying.

Thanks for the encouraging and helpful suggestions for what to say to Richard. After blogging the other night, I went back to facebook and noticed something I hadn’t spotted before.

This Friday night, Richard is having a big party/get-together/drinking session, a chance to meet up with a lot of his friends and celebrate (if that’s the right word). And, despite the years of non-contact, I’ve been invited. So I’m leaving work early on Friday and heading down to see Richard, reminisce and whatever else.

I’ve also just sent him a message to let him know I’m going, I’m looking forward to seeing him after far too long, and that I’m praying for him whether he likes it or not!

I’ll be back at the weekend.

I’m on my housemate’s computer again, and I had loads of quite fun and daft things I was looking forward to writing when I got a chance. But after checking facebook, I’m not feeling in a jovial kind of mood anymore.

As is the nature of facebook, sometimes I make friends with, or get invited to be friends with, people I used to know some time ago but haven’t spoken to for ages. And, given the busy nature of life, even after becoming "friends" again, I don’t always get round to talking to them for a long time. And that’s what’s happened with Richard. He was one of my best mates at school, but after we left I lost touch with him and almost everyone else I was at school with. A few months back, after I’d been virtually reunited with a few other old school friends, Richard sent me a friend invitation, I accepted and then… well, we haven’t actually communicated since.

Then tonight, I read a note he wrote a couple of days ago, and another one he wrote more recently. Richard has been battling bowel cancer for the last year, and despite numerous courses of drugs and chemo, he has just found out the cancer is now inoperable. By all accounts, the doctors don’t anticipate him living much longer.

When I read all this, I was lost for words. I’ve known someone younger than Richard who died from cancer, but I guess this was more shocking to me because I’ve known Richard for so long, but haven’t spoken to him in such a long time. I’ve spent much of this evening trying to write a message to him, but I’ve given up because everything I can think to say looks patronising or trite or false when I type it. I feel a bit useless that I can’t do anything to help, and can’t even work out how to say that to him either. I’ll pray for him, of course, but given that he’s a committed atheist (he’s written that he wants nothing religious in his funeral service), I’m not even sure how to tell him that. I just feel totally crap and useless about it all.

Oh Lord, I wish I knew what to say.